A Friend Only Ever Wants to Talk On Her Topics: Is It Time to Cut Her Off?

I have been friends with a woman, a person who's faced and conquered many obstacles, and I respect her for that. However, she has been often blindsided by others. Her husband walked away, which came as a huge shock. Several of her social circle disappeared during that time, as they were focused solely on her husband. This surprised her deeply. She made increased attention to be my friend, and must have realised more acutely the meaning of companionship.

The Pattern of Disappearance

Throughout this period, many of her friends have disappeared without her being sure why. The company she worked for turned on her, although she was very skilled at her work, and she left not understanding the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Lately, we've both retired leading to more frequent meetups, however, I feel my role in the relationship is as the audience. I introduce topics of conversation and she changes conversation onto what interests her. Politically, she holds firm beliefs. I attempt to recommend verifying facts and different perspectives.

She has been planning a holiday to a nation I've visited on several occasions and resided in previously. I attempted to share personal experiences, yet it was not welcomed. She really just desired validation of her plans. I've just come back from a month in that country she is eager to catch up, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I don't want in this role who cuts and runs abruptly, however, I feel she'll truly grasp the consequences of her actions on my confidence. Right now, I find myself in pulling back. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

One option is to end things abruptly, but it is not often a smooth outcome we hope for. However, addressing it aiming for a solution requires bravery and readiness from both people.

Professional advice indicates applying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Initially is to state how things go during your discussions. This needs to be objective and clear and essentially an unbiased account. Step two is to tell her how it makes you feel. This allows for no argument about this. Emotions are valid, of course. Step three involves requesting how you are both can shift the dynamics in your relationship."

Keep in mind she too holds perspectives, so you need to stay open to hear that. One effective method is to say her:

"Now you talk and I'm going to not say anything for half an hour."

Key Takeaways

Your friend could ignore everything, for those who have a deep-seated story: they rely on a story of their life they cannot let go of because their very survival depends upon it being the only thing familiar to them. This is difficult because there's no clear path here, just dead ends. But she may at first react defensively and then think on your words. And even if a resolution isn't found an agreement, it will give you closure that you've been open and direct.